Getting used to it, Midlife
Getting Used to It, Midlife is a show hosted by two executive life coaches, Beth & Suzee, who are also expert friends and are both getting used to midlife. From empty nesting and aging parents to painful sex, and let’s not forget the extra lubrication, we will sift through all of it, speaking our truth faithfully and vulnerably. Listen as we live through this in ourselves and our relationships in real time and tease through the “how to” of this next phase of life. As coaches, we have the tools, but as women in the middle, we may not have all the answers. Scratch that— we’ll have some damn good ideas, too. Join us, and let’s get used to it together!
Getting used to it, Midlife
Getting Used to It — From Shame to Celebration: What Other Cultures Get Right (and Wrong) About Menopause
What happens when menopause meets culture? In this episode, we explore how midlife is understood—and misunderstood—across the globe. Some countries embrace it. Others hide it. And a few? They turn it into something sacred.
From whispered taboos to public policy, herbal wisdom to spiritual awakening, we uncover surprising truths about how the world handles this universal transition. Let’s just say: not every country sees menopause the way you think they do.
Tune in for a global conversation that might just change the way you see your own midlife story. And tell us—how does your culture handle menopause?
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of Getting Used To It!
If you enjoyed today’s conversation, please consider subscribing, rating, and leaving us a review—it helps others discover the show! We’d also love to hear your thoughts, so drop us a comment or connect with us on social media.
Stay connected, stay curious, and we’ll see you next time!
Do you see a timer?
Speaker 2:I do.
Speaker 1:Okay, good, all right, that's nice to know. All right, let me just make this a little bit smaller, all right.
Speaker 2:Hey Beth, hi Susiezy, how are you doing today? All day, well, every day I'm doing amazing. I love it. Um, I think I need to do better at that right now, like per our previous conversation before you hit record. Anyways today, moving right along. Today we're here to talk about midlife.
Speaker 2:Menopause around the world and midlife and menopause, and are they co-mingled in other parts of the world in different cultures? You know women tend to, in certain societies, disappear from public life. Have they in your part of the world? We want to know. We did a little research, we both covered some different turf and we just thought we'd launch into a conversation here about it and see how the us does versus other places. And again, we invite our listeners to from different parts of the world to chime in Please tell us, because, the truth is, we're not even sure if what we found was super accurate.
Speaker 1:This is literally just the research, what Google told us. So you know, is it all true? Are there some differences? Are there you know what? Let us know, let us know. Yeah, so, Beth, what did you find out? What? What turf were you covering?
Speaker 2:So I was covering Western Europe, including the UK, and South American cultures and and how they each treat women in that 40 to 60 plus age range in terms of their social value, in terms of roles, visibility, expectations, midlife, also menopause, and how they kind of commingle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:So what do you?
Speaker 1:well, I did Eastern Europe and Asia and all the same topics. Right, Exactly so what would you find? What did you? What would you say is the most intriguing thing? Or just tell us about the UK, What'd you find out?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was saying to Susie before we got on that she asked what my biggest takeaway is and I or was, and I think it's that in the UK also, I read this really interesting thing. I'll talk about the UK in a minute. This is part of the UK what I'm about to say, but in Scotland they have these menopause cafes that are cropping up.
Speaker 1:A safe space.
Speaker 2:Yeah, a safe space for people of in that menopausal age range to go and talk and get have education and feel heard, which sounds amazing. It does. Would you go to a menno cafe? I?
Speaker 1:feel like I would have to check it out. For sure, yeah, for sure yeah, for sure yeah.
Speaker 2:And then what if you were post-menopause like me? Would you be? Would, would I be allowed? In I you know what you'd be coming in with all the knowledge like yeah, yeah yeah, very menopausal women I'd be the wizened elder which also, yeah, be the wizened elder, yeah which also sounds like a character from Harry Potter.
Speaker 2:But okay, we move right along. The elf is anyway, yeah, yeah. So I thought that was really interesting that in Scotland that that was taking hold. Another thing that really made me smile and feel like this could be something is that, well, in England the government has a few positions for women who are leading in the space of menopause. For example, they have a government menopause employment ambassador for the very you know, to help people in careers be heard, be noticed. There's an increase in policy support for flexible careers, lifelong learning and healthcare tailored to midlife transitions. That felt really positive. That on a governmental level, there were some women leading the charge and taking care to, you know, guide the country and its employers towards a better standard for women in this age range experiencing menopause as well. That blew my mind.
Speaker 1:Wow, that is super cool yeah.
Speaker 2:Did I say that clearly? I was, I was wondering, but anyways, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, I heard it. Blew your mind.
Speaker 2:It did it's super cool. I stopped it. You blew my mind, yeah, yeah. So I thought that was really, really impressive and promising. You know, my only experience is here in the US and I, you know I haven't. I've worked as an independent contractor. The whole time I've been in menopause and post-menopause. So I'm not sure what women who are out in the corporate workforce or work at state, state, local, you know government, et cetera, federal government what their experience is. I'd be curious. I only know what mine is. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'd be curious to what it's like out there in that corporate world. Now, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I would have to say, just jump into Asia real quick.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tell us you don't mind. Please go ahead and jump into Asia. I'm going to jump into Asia.
Speaker 1:So japan. Uh, on the whole, feel like all the countries I got were um behind I don't know why I laughed I'm not sure either.
Speaker 2:I mean I feel like we're behind.
Speaker 1:I know I know I was like beth, but there are some places that are really behind. Yes and yeah it's. I think no matter what overall women's health has just been behind anyway. But I'll start with Japan and they. They seem to have this quiet transition. The word for menopause for them is konenki, like I'm pretty sure I'm saying that wrong, but it means the renewal years, which I thought was kind of cool, but it's not pathologized like it is in the West, right? So fewer women report hot flashes and stuff. But I think that's because their soy content and their diet is so high, but also because of their culture, they're much more quiet.
Speaker 1:About what I'm laughing, because it's like any kind of pain that they might be going through, whether it's menopause or you know any, anything else, name it right it's typically just a little bit more quiet. They keep their discomfort quiet, um, but typically they use more herbs than the westernized medication. And then, um, in korea and I'm korean, but you know, I was born in amer America, so I know about the culture but what menopause is like in Korea, I don't know what it's like, but what I read and researched is that that their pressure is super real. And what I know about Korea, though, is they do emphasize the youth, and a lot right. So menopause is not for the youth, it seems.
Speaker 2:You have to go way beyond youth. That's a little thing called menses.
Speaker 1:Exactly Right. So I think they said that a lot of women do turn to hormone therapy, although there isn't a lot of that happening there. But menopause is something to be fixed as to, right. This is part of our cycle of life, right, but there are. There is a growing movement of women embracing aging more, so that could be good, and they're pushing the conversation of menopause and aging more. So they're, they're starting, right. And then, just to round about my Eastern Asia conversation, china's just a little bit. Well, they're, they're also. They youth is also huge for them too, but they don't look at this as a disorder. It's part of the cycle, right. And in the more modern cities, they do mix some of the old traditions and the new traditions, like Western medication, as well.
Speaker 2:Right, yeah, some of what I picked up in South America in terms of medicalized treatment and access to what is very common here HRT. You know, in South America that is something that is still limited to people that have private care health insurance, not public health insurance, and there's still, you know, a taboo around the education of menopause. Um, there is also, um, you know a little bit of like, I guess, brazil, argentina, chile, they're sort of leading, you know um leading South America in terms of and these countries are all very you know um, the more urban and upwardly mobile you are, the more access to preventative care, psychological support, the more, and then, from a society level, the more um you're appreciated, valued in the workforce still, etc. I so, and then for people that are living in more rural communities, it's a little bit more of a wise, strong, you know um caregiving sort of focus for older women it is seen as more of a natural life transition versus a medicalized transition disorder.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:I couldn't think of that word. They don't necessarily see it as something that requires pharmaceutical treatment and, again, like I said, it's really limited to people that are more middle-class or upwardly mobile, that have private health insurance, that have access to things like HRT.
Speaker 1:Right Right, right right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's like a private care gap going on, gotcha so interesting the way the different countries do it so differently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you know, even within the big continent, and then all the little you know it's, it's I don't know, it's just like so mixed. It's interesting. I was just going to say in India, you know, still part of Asia, and there's Southeast Asia, there's, you know, turkey, there's so many. Asia is huge, but in India they say it's sacred but taboo still. So it's openly discussed in many of the homes. Again, please, anybody, if we're wrong about any of this, let us know. But, and especially in conservative areas, I said but interestingly, post-menopausal women, uh, gain status in the household. So it's seen as the natural progression and treatments and focus. They focus on balance, not suppression, and that was also interesting in countries like Indonesia and Malaysia. Menopause is sometimes seen as a spiritual shift, which I thought was so cool.
Speaker 1:Very cool, yeah, so women can fully participate in some religious active traditions.
Speaker 2:Because now they're I don't know fully a person because they've got the whole cycle.
Speaker 1:And I noticed a lot of these Asian countries too they really do mix a lot of their own traditional herbal remedies as well, which I also feel like is super cool.
Speaker 2:I noticed that when I was looking at South America, countries like Peru and Bolivia are leaning into sort of their um the uh plant-based high altitude plant-based medicine like the of the Andes for um for their care, which I thought was really interesting.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, there's a lot um of interesting stuff to dive into here. And then, like Susie said a minute ago, we don't know what it's really like on the boots on the ground for women and we'd love to hear I mean, we've, we've done a little research, this is what we've learned, and even like what I was saying early on what?
Speaker 2:what really blew my mind was that, like at a government level in the UK, they were seeing like a cultural shift from the top and a destigmatization. You know, and some like workplace policies et cetera. But what's it? Like boots on the ground? Are people really experiencing that? Is there a shift? Is it in name only? We don't know.
Speaker 1:No clue. And I just want to touch on Eastern Europe too. Oh yeah, please, it's part of the country. Out right, Our world out it's not too different. I was telling Beth, I'm like, oh the you know, Eastern Asia, Eastern Europe, there seems to be this thing where it's more about silencing, right you don't you strong in silence? It's taboo, right? So old wisdom, that that sort of thing, but you stay kind of quiet about it. Um and so in post-soviet culture, menopause is rarely discussed, they said, and the expectation is suck it up move on, right, so, and they consider this quiet strength, right.
Speaker 1:So there's not a lot of support or talk about hrt, probably in the urban areas it's more so. So, right, and that's, I feel like that seems to be a theme here and Poland and Hungary. Menopause is viewed, is often viewed, as a medical issue, but still not openly talked about. The Balkans, depending on the country Serbia, croatia, bulgaria you'll find like a range of Orthodox Christian views around it where menopause is seen as like turning inward spiritually. Then there's the urban cultures and that's influenced by Western media, where you see that it's a little bit more glorified. You know, so fascinating. It's just fascinating to me, right, but we are still, it sounds like, except for the UK. It sounds like everyone else is just a little behind.
Speaker 2:It does it does. I did and this is slightly, you know I didn't zone in on France too much but again, lower use of HRT. You know there's some public access but it's, you know, less of a preventative focus. I think same goes in Germany conservative around HRT, alternative options are common. Netherlands is the cultural framing is a little bit more open and pragmatic, whereas Germany is clinical and discreet. France is private, uk is open, public and policy led. So we're seeing as each individual country is truly its own culture and place, we're seeing the same sort of viewpoint goes that it's dependent on where you live.
Speaker 2:Yeah, one interesting anecdotal thing I read just before we got on that I was talking to Susie about, which was that in France and like I said, you know there is access, although it's, you know it's still kind of private and taboo an American woman talking about the desire to move to France in midlife because there was more, there is more of a focus on living and pleasure, a slowdown of work, that there was more, according to this person, more emotional and physical safety as an older person. You know, as a menopausal or postmenopausal woman, that there's a women there have an air of confidence and taking up space, and we were talking a little bit about some of like President Macron's wife and some other older women who seem to be just getting better with age. Yeah, let's do that. I like that. So Susie and I are going to move to France, everybody.
Speaker 1:Yep, and we're going to get better with age.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, just like a fine bottle of wine, exactly, yeah yeah, yep, sounds good.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I feel like you know whether we're all managing symptoms with acupuncture, herbal, like going back to our roots with herbal remedies, HRT, whatever it is, and wherever you're living, Number one, I'd love, we'd love to hear from you, Absolutely. Please tell us if we're wrong and then share with us what it's really like. But hey, we're all getting used to it together.
Speaker 2:Thanks for listening as we peace out about menopause and midlife across the globe.
Speaker 1:This is true.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Thank you.
Speaker 2:Talk to you later. See you, Susie.